Saturday, June 24, 2006

Even Neo wants marriage and family

A couple of weeks ago, Keanu Reeves/Neo got some headlines when he made public his desire for a family. He was quoted as saying: “I’m trying not to be alone so much and it’s a struggle. I want to get married. I want to have kids. That’s at the top of the mountain. I’ve got to climb the mountain first. I’ll do it. Just give me some time.”

Apparently, it didn't take much time. This week he made news by acting on it—reportedly proposing to his girlfriend. [Reeves, who is almost 42 came close to family in the past when he conceived a daughter who was stillborn at 8 months and then the girl's mom was killed in a car accident two years later.]

Never much of a celebrity watcher, I have a hard time understanding why the personal whims and desires of the rich and famous are newsworthy. I guess Reeves' confession stood out, however, because leading men aren't typically known for articulating a desire for family. Consistent with what we've been talking about--it just goes against the conventional wisdom.

I appreciated the one comment we received implying that just because men aren't as vocal about these issues doesn't mean they don't matter to them. I hope this discussion can encourage more men to surprise the people around them by simply articulating the desire they've quietly held for family. Of course the bigger surprise will be when those men act boldly on that desire.


At 12:12 PM, Blogger Jake said...

I feel ashamed for knowing this, but I remember that when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston split, one of the chief reasons given was that he wanted to start having kids but she didn't. Another blow to the stereotype?

At 10:33 AM, Blogger Tidy Bowl said...

As a female, I can only say this...

I've never claimed to be the "typical" female. Undoubtedly this is at least part of the reason why I am unattached. I also believe that there is a purpose and a reason why I am single at this time.

However, I also think there is some kind of gap between the men and the women of the church. Men want marriage, women want marriage, but we are not achieving it. Somehow we have to reach across this gap.

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Firinnteine said...

"Tidy Bowl" -- consider that the entire culture is militating against marriage, and that most of the Church isn't really countering that. Consider that we no longer have a societal structure for getting married (see Leon Kass' article, if you can find it; they had excerpts in Boundless). Consider that the wild explosion of divorces has made many people afraid of getting into a marriage that might not "work out." Consider that we're not being taught what Christian marriage really looks like. Consider the unrealistic expectations we've been spoon-fed, often without realizing the extent to which we're believing them.

It's a big gap.

I believe God is big enough to help us build a bridge. But it's not going to be easy, and it may take a while. I hope my children (Lord willing) don't have to face as many obstacles in pursuing God's calling (for those of them called to marriage). I want to help bring about a situation where they don't have to.


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