Marriage Without Children?

Thanks to Alaberi for asking a simple and yet profound question: "Why does a godly woman have to be open to having children (see your "C")? Isn't a marriage where procreation is not an object still valid if it is God-centered?"

There's so much to say on this subject it's hard to know where to begin. I'll jump in with the short answer first: A marriage that is obedient to God's design will find both husband and wife open to the blessing of children.

I'm not surprised to get this question -- we've gotten it a lot on Boundless.org -- especially in a culture where the word of the day is control. The discovery of chemical birth control affects not only a woman's cycle, but her mind and heart. "I can prevent pregnancy," she thinks. But if the pill fails, pregnancy is suddenly an unwanted consequence. That's a far cry from the biblical imagery of children as wealth, an inheritance from the LORD, the desire of God's heart (Malachi 2:15).

Until the advent of chemical birth control, to decide not to have children wasn't even an option. In Scripture, barrenness was always a tragedy; a curse. Only recently have the church and culture embraced intentional barrenness. Only recently have couples omitted the part of the traditional wedding vows that promised a willingness to receive children.

The flip side -- a whole other topic -- is the growing number of Christian couples who thought they never wanted kids, but have changed their minds. The only problem is that many waited too long and they aren't as fertile as they used to be. Delay is one of the primary reasons for the surge in infertility diagnoses and demand for help conceiving.

For a succint and pointed look at the problem, read this article about deliberate childlessness by Al Mohler, author and President of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.